nerves and not showing.

Some blog news: I added tickers at the bottom so you could follow baby's progress through the produce department and count down the days with us. I think counting weeks of pregnancy is really confusing -- I guess it's like how you might say a baby is in her first year of life before she turns one. Still, every time, I have to double check to make sure my math is right!

Week 14 is wrapping up and week 15 is just around the corner -- baby is graduating from peach to lemon (these sizes seem very arbitrary -- what if you have a large peach or a small lemon?). Regardless of his/her increasing size, I'm not increasing by much at all. I guess it's pretty normal in a first pregnancy to go several months without showing, but it seems like you should, considering how much growth is happening in there! My doctor said she doesn't think I'll show until at least 20 weeks -- so far, she's right, because I'm fitting into all of my clothes just like I always do.

In some ways, that's been advantageous: no one at school has guessed anything. Up until this week, only a few people were on a need-to-know basis, but I decided I should probably talk to human resources about family medical leave, and I also wanted the principal to know before he heard anything "through the grapevine." So now the word is out with administration, and I'm trying to find the right time to break the news to the other people I work with.

And...I'm terrified. I know that there are no signs anything is wrong, and that everything looked great at my last appointment. And I know that the odds are greatly in my favor that everything will be fine from this point forward. But I'm just so, so anxious to tell people beyond, well, you! I'm sure that, besides being nervous about complications, I'm also just nervous to verbalize it and make it real -- at this point, it is still so, well, surreal. Today was a baby shower for two of my work colleagues, and I didn't want to say anything to steal their thunder -- but I'll have to bite the bullet and say something soon, I guess...

Edited 12/3 to add: I sent out an email to my department today. It was a little scary but people were very supportive and nice. I'm still terrified that I'll go to my next appointment, get horrible news, and then have to deal with it...but it's nice to have supportive people around you, too.